Thursday, April 19, 2012

No, I said 'flash fiction', not Flash Gordon....

I wanted to do a little bit of flash fiction and something pulpy so, here ya go....

The Fortune Society in: 

Gems 'da breaks, kid.

"Now young man, if you would be so kind as to toggle the starting mechanism located just above my left shoulder, I will...."

"Huh?" came the reply from the young blonde kid with the slicked back hair, tweed jacket, and bow tie.

"Flip 'da switch..." grunted the hulking figure that stood behind the both of them, rolling his eyes up as if trying to look under the brim of his battered derby.

"Oh...well, why didn't ya say so?" the kid said, reaching up and flipping the button to the 'on' position...then taking a step back. He was never sure what, exactly, Professor Proton's wondrous inventions did at any given time, he just knew it was always a good idea to stand far away from them when they were set to go.

The device strapped to the smaller, older, looking man's back started to hum. Lights began to shine, in a circular pattern, on the outside of the device which looked a bit like a round backpack, but made of highly polished metal. Two hoses were attached to each side which ran down the length of the wearer's arms and fastened at his wrists. A nozzle stuck up and over each hand, which he brought up and tried to take aim.

"Uhhh.....Prof, I don't think 'dats da best idea ya ever came up wit', ya know? I mean, I think The Baron wants know....take care o' 'dis himself..." the big man standing behind the other two men said.

"Now,now, Slate", the smaller man in the white lab coat said, holding his arms up and clenching his fists, "it should be obvious to any plebeian that our illustrious leader is in dire need of a bit of scientific assistance, wouldn't you say?" He closed his left eye, taking aim behind his thick, darkly tinted, goggles.

"Oooohhhh....this ain't gonna be good...I just know it." the blonde kid said, taking a step back and adjusting his bow tie.

"James, please refrain from vocalizing your inner dialogue as I am in the midst of addressing the fascinating beast which has designs on ingesting our fearless leader?"


"Shaddup so's he can aim..." the hulking figure, Slate, said screwing up his face in frustration.

"Oh....well, why didn't you say so? And besides, you can call me Jimmy...everyone dmmmpffff!"

A large hand clamped over his mouth as Jimmy's eyes widened. He looked up, nodding at Slate, who removed his overly large hand from Jimmy's mouth and returned the nod.

"Almost.....almost......there...." the Prof said as his fingers on each hand depressed twin triggers and bright beams of crimson energy shot out from the nozzles on his wrists. The bright flash of light drew the creature's attention and it turned it's many tentacled head towards the twin beams of energy, just before they impacted it right between it's two sets of eyes. A loud explosion echoed in the small chamber and the Beast from a Thousand Nightmares dropped into a pile of rubbery, foul smelling goo.

"Blast it, Professor!" the dashing man with the wavy blonde hair and matching goatee shouted, his right arm still up and over his eyes, his left arm out and brandishing a glowing rapier. "I had the creature just where I wanted it!"

"Oh Baron, your cavalier attitude towards danger never gets dull." Prof grinned as he motioned for Jimmy to flip the switch of his Plasma Manipulator off. "Besides, our mission here was to obtain the Sultan's Guardian Gem, correct?"

"Exactly...something we couldn't have done until the gem's thief was dispatched. We had him on the ropes, didn't we Dumas?"

"Of course sir." a disembodied voice echoed from the glowing rapier in the Baron's hand.

"I hate 'dat sword..." grumbled Slate as he continued checking over his shoulder to remain sure that the portal behind them was still open. 

The Baron grinned at Slate, then glanced down at the pile of rubbery goo that was the remains of the Beast. Barely visible was the gleam of a multifaceted, aquamarine, gem.

"Well, that looks to be a bit of a sticky wicket, eh?" The Baron said, motioning towards the smelly, bubbly, mass with the glowing rapier.

"Sir, if you stick me in that mess I will cut you in your sleep...", the rapier said in a haunting voice.

"No need for that, I'm certain. Jimmy, might you have something to help us out here?" The Baron winked at the blonde young man.

"Oh, sure thing Baron....gimme one sec. I got what ya need or my name ain't Jimmy Dohicky!" 

The young man approached, pulling a small, telescoping rod from his inner jacket pocket and attaching some silvery string to the end of it. From another pocket, he produced some copper wiring and began bending and twisting it while his tongue stuck out of the corner of his mouth. He then tied the other end of the string to the copper wiring and lowered the fishing pole like device down towards the goop covered gem.

"Ya know, I've been thinkin' about makin' some sorta game outta this one. See, the people would put their money in and try to move this claw like thing down into a buncha toys or such and if they can clamp onto 'em", he said as he snagged the gem with the bent wiring, "then they get ta keep it!" he grinned as he held the now brightly glowing gem as if he'd just caught a prize bass.

"Jimmy, you're definitely a keeper." The Baron smiled as he took the gem from the wiring and put it into a black, silky, pouch.

Jimmy smiled, dismantling his gizmo and putting the pieces back into different pockets.

"Now lads....we're off. Let's get this gem back to the Sultan before the hourglass runs out of sand."

"Agreed Baron. I think now is good time to retreat to our own plane with alacrity."


"We gotta get home....quick-like....."

"Oh, well why didn't you...."

A three voiced chorus replied "Shut up!"

Dramatis Personae:

The Baron: Swashbuckling man of mystery, wielder of the Karma Blade, and leader of the Fortune Society.

Professor Proton: A scientist of undetermined age and credentials. His wondrous devices seem to bend the laws of physics....when they work.

Aristotle Slate: Philosophical strong man and medic. Fluent in over twenty languages thanks to his photographic memory.

Jimmy Dohicky: The son of Dohicky Toys magnate, Chester Dohicky, Jimmy wants to lead the life of adventure, helping the team with his amazing, cobbled together from nothing, devices.

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